It Sucks To Be Me!
by Dattebayo Girl
Summary: Japan and Germany sing about how it sucks to be them as they spend yet another night on the beach with Italy. -Avenue Q "It Sucks To Be Me" 1st APH fic, Song-Fic, Two-Shot, ect, ect, Rated for minor language and the constant use of the word 'suck'.
1. It Sucks to Be Me!

Okay, this'll be sort of quick because I'm feeling lazy and I wanted to get this up. I only did half the song, and I plan on doing the full song eventually.

I'm relatively new to APH, so please don't hate me if I get someone's character wrong!

This may seem easy enough, but changing the lyrics to make it fit neatly was hard as heck. Give me a little credit!

APH isn't mine.

"It sucks to be me" is also not mine.

KTHX.

_Singing._

-----

Japan, Italy, and Germany were all sitting around a campfire...

Hilarious, right?!

... What, no one got the joke? huh, oh well.

Italy sighed, looking up in the sky. This war was kind of overwhelming, but he was glad he had big strong Germany, smart cunning Japan, and his saftey net, White flags, plenty enough for the three of them. "I wish we could sing."

"Sing?" Germany asked. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Well, Music plays a big part in Italy's culture." Japan replied

"I know, it seems strange though. Besides, it's not as if we have anything to make music with." Germany spoke with a single shrug.

Suddenly a spotlight appeared over the sea behind them, showing Grandpa Rome holding up the radio in his boat. He, his boat, and the radio were huge, and the spotlight seemed to light up the night. He gave the three a thumbs up before pressing play on the radio. Italy squee'd and thanked his Grandpa, jumping up and grabbing a marshmallow on a stick as he started to twirl around happily. Germany stared in disbelief and Japan just stared blankly.

_What do you do?_

_Separated from brother?_

_What is my life supposed to be?_

_Waving the white flag..._

_Always seems to nag.._

_My best friend Germany..._

Germany blushed at this, staring at the sand. Best friend, huh?

_I don't want to be killed..._

_I have no fighting skills..._

_The world is a big scary plaaaaaaaceeeeeee~_

Italy came to stand, then sit between Germany and Japan, which caused the both of them to look up at the little country.

_But somehow I can't shake..._

_The feeling we might make..._

_A difference... in the country race..._

Italy Jumped up with a joyful laugh, effectively covering Germany and his Marshmallow with sand, and he took off into the ocean. Germany growled, then muttered as he went to go wash off. Upon returning, Japan greeted him, the music still going.

"Konnichiwa, Germany."

"Guten-tag, Japan."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm Stressed."

"What's the matter?"

"Italy's going to be the death of me."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Me too! I mean, look at us!  
We're Japan and Germany, and I  
always thought - ..."

"What?"

"No, it sounds stupid."

"Come on Germany-san, it's okay."

G.  
_When I was little  
I thought I could be..._

J.  
What?

G.  
_The very biggest, best, bad-ass country..  
But as you know,  
And as you can see  
I'm not..._

J.  
No.

G.  
_Oh Well,  
It sucks to be me._

J.  
Oh...

G.  
_It sucks to be me_.

J.  
Germany-san....

G

_It sucks to be fighting allies_

_when it's only just us three...  
It sucks to be me._

J.  
Oh, you think your life sucks?

G  
I think so.

J.  
Your problems aren't so bad!

G.

What?!

J.

_I'm remain loyal,  
And I'm really smart._

G.  
You are.

J.  
_Thank You.  
Yet I feel as if I am not doing my part_.

G.

Really?

J.

_I want to help from the bottom of my heart  
So we...  
Could win this war...  
Yosh,  
It sucks to be me._

G.  
Me too.

J.  
_It sucks to be me._

G.  
_It sucks to be me!_

J.  
_It sucks to be Japan...  
_  
G.  
_And Germany._

J.  
_Because of the war._

G.  
_Because Italy._

BOTH  
_It sucks to be me._

They both sighed as Italy ran back, wet with sea water. "Ahhhh~ It's nice to go swimming after a good song. Thanks Grandpa Rome!"

Rome nodded, grinning, and the spotlight popped off.

"So!" Italy said. "Did you two sing?"

Before Germany could deny the truth, The Allies showed up. Germany and Japan got in defensive positions, and Italy immediately drove behind Germany, hiding and trying to find his white flag.

"How did your find us so quickly?" Germany asked prepared for anything.

"Ha ha ha!" America laughed proudly before biting a cheeseburger and pointing it at the axis powers. "Thanks to my cunning, we spotted you easily!"

Russia just simply smiled, while the other Allied powers, France, UK and China all gave a face palm.

"I think what America-san means to say is that we saw the bright spotlight and heard the music." Russia nodded, and Germany facepalmed himself.

"Cunning?!" UK asked, "What Cunning?! Just keep your trap shut, America!"

"Me keep my mouth shut? Why don't you?!" America, will an epic war cry, Attacked UK.

"You guys!" France said. "We're not supposed to be fighting us, we're supposed to be fighting them!"

"Foolish little brother, Aru!" China said, waving his wok about (Naruto reference FTW.) "You'll never win against the Allies, Aru!"

"We will see." Japan said, drawing his sword. An epic battle ensued.

"Waaaaaaaa, please don't kill us!" Italy said, running around, waving his white flag frantically.

Germany looked at the scene and sighed. It sucked to be him.

-------

Lol, I hope you liked it and will review, because that would make me really happy.

And what's this? A story with Italy in it without a Pasta refrence? How amazing- Oh, nevermind.

_What do you do?_

_Separated from PASTA?_

_What is my life supposed to be?_

_Waving the PASTA..._

_Always seems to nag.._

_My PASTA Germany..._

Germany... wanted to kill Italy at this point.

_I don't want to be killed..._

_I have ALL PASTA skills..._

_The world is a big scary plaaaaaaaceeeeeee~_

Italy came to stand, then sit between Germany and Japan, which caused the both of them to look up at the little country.

_But PASTA I can't shake..._

_The PASTA we might make..._

_A difference... in the PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA race..._

Germany closed his eyes tightly, then preceded to go throw Italy into the ocean. With any luck, Italy wouldn't know how to swim.

---

Lol, I love the Axis powers, although I'm Lithuania and China XD


	2. It Sucks to Be Me, Too 2

I'm so sorry, you guys. I really am. I'm failing at putting my crap up here because my new computer blocks the page needed to actually upload the stories onto FF. It's really annoying, but I got another computer, and with my sudden obsession over APH, will be suddenly dumping 3 or 4 stories XD

--

I did it! I made a second part of this little story, lol. It was meant to be a one shot, hence why this doesn't exactly align with the first chapter, but anything can happen in musicals =D

APH isn't mine!

-

England, smiling slightly in thought as he reminisces back when America was a little kid

_We were together_

America, chomping on a hamburger, as usual.

_As close as people can get_

England, already annoyed with his 'brother', gently places him in a headlock, where he tries to not-so gently strangle him.

_We were the best of buddies…_

America, Choking and trying to get free.

_E-Ever since the day we m-met!_

England, Squeezing tightly.

_So he knows LOTS of ways to make me really upset_

America, finally pulling free.

_Oh!-_

England, crossing his arms.

_Everyday is an aggravation!_

America, doing the same.

_Come on now that's an exaggeration!_

England, Smirking.

_With so many burgers, your weight is getting scary…._

America, upset with this little comment.

What?!

_At least I don't go off and start talking to fairies!_

_You always made that little history we shared a Hell!_

England, pointing at America accusingly.

_So did you, that's why I was in hell too!_

America

_It sucks to be me_

England

_No! It sucks to be me_

Japan (Still around the campfire)

_It sucks to be me!_

Germany (Still around the campfire)

_It sucks to be me!_

All four.

_Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be… It sucks to be ME._

America.

_Da-da da-da da_

England.

_Da-da da-da da_

Japan.

_Da-da da-da da_

Germany.

_Da-da da-da!_

America.

_Da-da da-da da_

England.

_Da-da da-da da_

Japan.

_Da-da da-da da_

Germany.

_Da-da da-da!_

France.

_Why are you guys so happy?_

America, giving the 'heroic thumbs up'

Because our lives suck!

France, crossing his arms in a sexy-type pose.

_You think really think so? Am I hearing you correctly?_

_We come together, for opportunities._

_Like that one time I tried to get England to marry me!_

England stammers in surprise, horrified that France would mention that incident. America looks on, one eyebrow raised.

France, doing more sexy poses.

_And it's not my fault that I am super sexy_

France does a dramatic sighing pose.

_And sigh…._

_Life is so hard… _

_When you're so beautiful…_

_And you have a fugly fiancé_

_And you just want to play all day…_

England seems to just now realize…

HEY! I'm not ugly! I'm not your fiancé either, damn it!

France:

_It –bleeps- to be me…_

_It –bleeps- to be me…_

_I say it-_

_-bleep- -bleep-_

_-bleep- -bleep-_

_-bleep- -bleep-_

_-bleep- -bleep-_

_-bleep- -bleep-_

_-bleep- -bleep_

_-bleep!-_

_It –bleeps- to be me!_

America frowns as France skips off happily.

"Did France just get censored 16 times in his one verse?"

"Yes." England spoke, rolling up his sleeves, angrily. "No one like France needs to run around singing the word 'suck' at all let alone so many times. Now, if you excuse me, I have a country to wipe off the face of the earth." He stalked off, leaving America there. After a bit, there was a horrific French-sounding scream.


End file.
